I truly believe that womb health is connected with mental health. I know what it feels like to smile to the outside world while privately living with deep seated mother grief, mother guilt, mother rage, and mother shame.
It held me back for years.
It kept me isolated, stuck and feeling invisible.
Twelve years ago I had an abortion which seriously impacted me.
I thought I was fine, the procedure was straight forward and I had some support from my partner, but it wasn’t enough. On the surface and medically speaking everything went smoothly. Inside me, however, was another story.
I can still remember the tears streaming down my face as we lit a candle and prayed for our loss. Despite this I knew that the termination was the right decision for us both.
What I wasn’t aware of then was how I felt deeper down.
Underneath my smile for the outside world was a rage that wanted to be seen and felt but was hidden.
My anger was held in my underbelly, in my womb.
Back then I had no way to articulate what I was really going through.
I was comfortable with grief but actually I was furious.
I really wanted to make a family and to have more children but my partner at the time didn’t.
Six months later we had ANOTHER abortion.
This was the final TIPPING point.
One day a current of rage rose up from deep within me and impacted the only person truly by my side back then, my five year old daughter.
My shadow self rose up and hurt a vulnerable and innocent child.
I was frightened and horrified and the shock of this day took me years to come to grips with.
I needed womb healing. I needed deep listening. I needed a shame whisperer.
I had no idea how to access myself or the support my soul needed.
This is why I created Birth Your Truth.
It’s what I needed back then when I was all alone.
I grew up catholic and somewhere inside I felt I needed to be punished for my behaviour, so after this I went on to attract a punishing husband.
We live in a culture that barely recognizes the womb and women’s truths . As women we have collectively been socialized and over educated up into our heads.
We tend to ignore ourselves from the waist down, period.
We ignore our womb and pretend she isn’t there. We even medicate her in an attempt to control her. Lest someone become overwhelmed by her power!
Womb healing is essential for women and highly protective for our children because supported, loved and nurtured mothers are safer, happier and better mothers.
Our children don’t really go with what we say as much as they go with how we act and how we behave. Our children not only feel our wounds, they carry them in their heart soul space.
Our children live in our vibrational field.
Back then I was unable to cope with how I really felt deep down. I know now that that which we cannot be with, waits for us and essentially runs us; it owns us.
If we bring ourselves forth, if we have the courage to be with our true feelings, if we can face the carnage we feel in our underbelly, we have a chance at healing and creating a real and authentic life.
If we ignore our shadow selves they can potentially rise up one day and hurt us or others or even fester away slowly and destroy us from within.
Unmet pain can implode internally into lumps, bumps, cysts and illnesses or externally it can explode hurting ourselves and those we care most about.
I am passionate about creating a better world for mothers and their children.
I do my work for women, our children and the generations to come too.
Back then I was unable to deal with the enormity of my feelings, it was too big and too scary. I was a single parent living alone in a big city and I felt ashamed.
As a daughter of patriarchy I was trained to soldier on and keep going. The modern day version of this is to carry on and ‘suck it up’.
Hiding and sucking it up only led me to hiding my truth and exploding it out later hurting my child.
After my tipping point I was totally driven to heal. I had to do something that mattered to me, something that honoured my body and women’s life giving powers.
I spent five years in body based psychotherapy and began offering women’s circles. I started Sacred Woman Gatherings in Sydney in 2005.
After years training and working as a doula, child birth educator and eventually becoming a registered midwife in two countries I now have something unique to offer.
From my journey into the depths of personal darkness, new light and new life has come.
In 2015 I created Birth Your Truth to hold space for women to heal from unexpected or disappointing experiences of childbirth, miscarriage and abortion.
This work has been full of light, wonderful and life changing for me.
I have seen deep miracles take place, however I am not a healer.
I am a midwife.
I am with woman, holding space for her energetic, felt truth.
Many of the women I have seen have been hurt by the comments and actions of well meaning and highly trained health professionals who themselves do not have the personal experience, sensitivity, compassion or awareness of the real issues women face behind closed doors after procedures are done.
Every front has a back and oft times some health professionals are only trained to see the front issue (and treat it with surgery or medication) blind to the real issue underneath.
My gift is to see and feel the deeper issues.
I’m with Rumi when he said, “The Wound contains the Cure.”
I go a step further.
The Womb contains the Cure.