Period Power

My periods are changing. I no longer bleed every 28 days. A whole eight months went by last year. I am in the transitional space between my moon cycle and the power stage called menopause feeling tranquil as I write this.

Recently, the red tide came in. Her arrival was unannounced and unexpected. The ‘almost unfamiliar to me now’ bright redness on the white loo roll. I got excited. It was like seeing an old friend again.

She was a wonderfully big bleed, eight days in total, my longest period ever.

I’d nearly forgotten the deep dive the dance with the blood is. My soft and oh so delightfully nurturing cloth pads lay dorment in their red velvet bag in my undies drawer.

I’d almost forgotten the uncompromising nature of the moon cycle.

I’d forgotten the heightened awareness and sensitivity.

I’d forgotten the feeling of being taken to the underworld with no time to pack.

I’d forgotten the waves of emotion.

I’d forgotten the roller coaster.

The menstrual super powers are many and include the capacity for soul deep self reflection, off the charts awareness, purification and expanded relief in the bliss of letting go.

It’s also a time where I lean into the ‘i couldn’t give a flying shiz about things that were really important to me a week ago’ sort of feeling.

Prior obsessions dissolve as I sink into my flow.

Naturally I want nourishing soup, bone broth, stew or slow cooked casseroles and sitting by log fires or laying down with a hot water bottle.

Doing nothing.

Going nowhere.

Pleasing no one.

Last time around the moon, there was drama.

Upon reflection I can see that my periods have evoked strong feelings in me and the man in my life for years. During my last cycle I had a fight with my man.

We never fight.

We had a fight because of who I was being. I wasn’t in touch with the uncomfortable feelings underneath my stove top intensity.

He was.

When I slowed down enough to feel how I was feeling, there was a lot brewing in my soft underbelly.

Our period has the power to reset us and is a natural spring clean on many levels. She brings to our awareness our deeper feelings about how we are living our life. She lets us know clearly how she feels about how we are going through our life physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually. 

Our period brings the power for profoundly deep purification. Buried truths and feelings rise up for acceptance and ultimately for release.

Wisdom. She. Is.

For years I either suppressed my deepest feelings or they flowed out of me as drama. This was a painful process because I didn’t want to feel some of those big feelings. I am writing about this here in the hope that it might assist you to bleed with power and with less drama than I did.

For years I was able to keep powerful parts of myself hidden and tucked away from myself for most of the time. I talked myself out of the wisdom revealed to me at this time.

I lived too much in my head. I lived too much for others. I had no idea how to love myself.

The Red Tide takes us deeper.

Looking back I can see how frightened I was of my own emotional energy.

Period Powers are hidden from view. For centuries they have been banished, silenced, ignored, suppressed, confined, cut back, medicated, and made to feel too much. I played too small, while she danced big.

The powers of the womb are formidable and in a masculine power system we have been trained to ignore and suppress them. In patriarchy we became overly educated smart women, we worked hard for years while our wombs tugged away calling out to us for stillness.

It’s a time to just be.

She yearns for us to move with her instead of being against her, yet as women, we are still far too disconnected from our body wisdom.

As a collective we women still live with ‘the fear of detection’ when we are bleeding. Much of our period energy goes into checking and rechecking that we are not bleeding all over the chair and clothing we are sitting on. We also over ride our energy limits, we push ourselves too far, we give too much to others when we really need to stop.

During the moon time my deepest truths become amplified and expand through me energetically in a big red wave. If I don’t catch the wave it can be messy, and by this I don’t just mean physically. The moon flow happens on all levels. The forces of Mother Nature within us are literally gushing and unleashing through us at this time.

Our moon flow is a journey to the underworld. Each month we merge with the Sacred Feminine on a profound healing retreat, willing or not, it is happening anyway … like a  mini death and a mini birth all rolled into one. Our Period has the power to deeply transform and heal us as women if we able to tune into and feel into what is actually going on inside us.

As the blood begins we are called inwards. This can happen anywhere at anytime … at work, on public transport or while making love.

No matter where we are the invitation is to turn towards the feelings and sensations that arise. It can be turbulent, energizing, draining or even a little or a lot dark sometimes as we discover we have the opportunity to meet and merge with the wisdom in our hips, to release unwanted stagnant energy and then gradually many days later return with a new approach and with new energy for the next journey around the moon.

Like the moon we cycle from dark to full and round again each month. Nature gives us 7 days to rest and release (a kind of death), 14 days to rebirth, with the peak of the fertile force at ovulation and another 7 days to let go and express ourselves even more fully (otherwise known as the pms week). Every month we are unfurling new fronds and dropping off dead fronds as we go.

It’s not a straight line, it’s a moon cycle after all.

Period Power = Slow down + Rest +Merge + Reflect + Review + 7 days later = Returning

All that no longer serves goes out on the red tide and Period Power means feeling it all.

Sometimes my period brought on arguments and fighting in my relationships because I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop being a martyr or a victim. My body and soul needed to go onto airplane mode for a week and I didn’t see how that could happen, so I over rode myself and soldiered on.

Looking back I can see that partners often reflected the hidden anger I felt but denied back to me.

Upon reflection I can see that I needed a Red Tent.

I needed to stop. I needed to relax. I needed to just be.

I needed to expand and take up more space for myself.

I needed to be away from men and children at this time.

Ancient cultures have always known this.

During my period the man in my life reflected back to me what I myself was feeling deep down. I often experienced it as a form of attack.

I’m pretty sure my man would say that he felt attacked by the way I was being, and often an argument was born at this time of the month.

Truth is, for many years I was unable to slow down enough to feel what I was feeling and allow myself to be with what I was feeling. I didn’t carve out the sacred space I needed.

My inability to face my deeper feelings and power manifested outwardly as Period Drama.

Fighting with men and feeling unable to deal with the demands of the outer life at this time I sometimes felt alien in my body, my home and in the world.

Notes from my moon journal …. “I must stop over doing it this time, lest I fall apart and someone’s head come off”.

The red tide won’t allow me to push my body or betray myself. My intuition and all my senses become heightened.

I must rest, or else.

Who really has the power when it comes to childbirth?

Michelle Obama recently gave a speech encouraging people to register to vote in the US. I was struck with how relevant and important her words are for women.

Michelle said…

“When you don’t vote you’re letting other people make some really key decisions about the life you’re going to live and how it’s going to work out for you. You’re just saying ‘you do it’… and you may not like what they decide. You might not like living with the consequences of other people’s choices.”

Many of us wanted a natural birth yet came away with something unexpected… such as a forceps delivery, vacuum extraction, episiotomy, stitches or a caesarean section.

These outcomes have felt disappointing and heart breaking to us.

The medical model of care sees childbirth as an accident waiting to happen, so to save us from this predicament the focus is on ‘doing things’ in an ordered and structured way to get the desired end results.

With all the advances of science and medicine why has it become so hard for women to give birth naturally?

The root of the problem with modern maternity care is that it functions within a masculine power system and the truth is that women and birth don’t work that way.

Within a medical model of care there is a predictable pattern and ordered process of events via which these results occur.

For example, I know that continuous monitoring in labour is linked to instrumental delivery of the baby, but many women may not know this. Labouring on a bed for hours with an epidural in situ the baby’s heart rate often drops and an emergency caesarean follows.

The masculine power system doesn’t see the deeper relationships between things such as the woman’s ability to receive support, the women’s position during labour, her need for privacy and freedom or the relationship between her inner state and the progress of labour and dilation.

Nor does it consider the quality of her relationships past or present and the impact on the birth.

There are many internal (in women’s bodies and minds) and external (in the environment and with others) factors contributing to the prevalence of medicalized birth across the world.

Most of us were born into and educated within a masculine power system. It’s based on achievement and in doing things in a linear way by taking a series of steps.

We have all been imprinted with ideas and experiences about women’s bodies and birth from years and years of conditioning.

Many of us now have the idea that women need to birth at the hospital and can’t do it for themselves, they need help because birth is dangerous.

This isn’t true.

Birth can be straightforward and simple. The truth is that without fear and in the right conditions with the right support most women birth naturally and well.

We are each also imprinted by the conceptions, pregnancies and births our mothers and grandmothers had. We are conditioned and held back by fears and inner beliefs which block our flow, our voice and our power.

How we birth is how we live.

The masculine power system is linear in its thinking and is focused on one thing: getting results.

It breaks things down into parts, so from the perspective of the medical model of care the vacuum extraction, forceps delivery and caesarean section are considered useful because they get the baby out and are therefore achieving the end result.

If a woman is hooked up to a monitor, her labour can be measured. This is seen as a useful way to chart her course to get the desired results. It’s not wrong or bad, it’s just one way of seeing things.

What’s missing here is the woman’s experience of becoming a mother, her process and the activation of her feminine power.

I’ve watched forceps deliveries, vacuum extractions and caesarean sections and I can tell you that they are right up there with the most disturbing and awful things that I have ever seen.

They are all very invasive measures and can be incredibly painful for women and babies.

Without the feminine powers of intuition, connection, support and the inner birthing tools we are left in a barren world with only the outer birthing tools, instruments, operations and machines.

There are many gentle and time tested inner tools that women can access to birth naturally that work without force.

A midwife you know, like and trust can be an incredibly protective and powerful ally for you to achieve natural birth, as can a doula.

With the loss of the ancient art of midwifery (including the highly protective powers of spiritual midwifery) women today are left with the cold outer tools that often leave incredibly deep scars and profound wounds, not just in the body but in the heart of woman, her psyche and sexuality.

Men too have birth trauma from having to watch all this, powerless to protect their woman and child from the harm of the outer tools.

There are certainly times when these options are necessary and can be helpful, and yes, they can sometimes be life savers, but if you want a natural birth they are only ever to be considered as absolute last resorts.

The thing is, if you birth within a medical model of care, your chances of experiencing the ‘outer tools’ are very high.

Let me be clear, the masculine power system is not wrong or bad, in fact it is great for achieving things that can be controlled such as scheduling flights at an international airport or building a boat.

There have been many gains to this system, such as flying from one country to another… and there have been costs too, such as the carbon emissions from aircraft.

A feminine power system works more like a garden; it is ever changing, emergent, unpredictable and cannot be controlled.

Who has the power 2 800x400

We cannot control when the tulips will open in spring time.

We cannot control when the strawberries will be ready to eat.

In a feminine power system there is an understanding of the inter-relatedness and importance of each and every part of the garden. Gardens look different in the morning compared to at the heat of the day. Gardens are also wildly different in spring compared to winter.

Just like nature, women and birth are not predictable. Women are fuelled by powerful natural cycles such as menstruation, pregnancy, birth and menopause.

These cycles have been consistent in women’s lives for centuries. They were not designed to be controlled but to bring all of life forward for the health of all in alignment with the deeper truth, the evolution of humanity within the cosmos.

Like gardens, women too are changing every day and every week of the month in relation to the cycle, season and stage of life the woman is in.

A garden is fecund and slow and like the weather it too can be chaotic and unpredictable.

There is no force here.

There is no due date for peaches or mangoes to ripen.

There are no inductions for roses.

Everything happens when it is ready to happen.

The masculine power system can be brutal when it is applied to feminine processes such as labour and birth.

And we women, we want things now too.

We want control and we don’t want to wait.

We want our baby on or around the due date.

We want our labour a certain way and a certain time.

The truth is that machines and medicalization can and will deliver such results.

There is another way and you have access to your feminine power right now.

If you want to be empowered to have your best chances to birth naturally message me now about Pregnancy Power, the 7 week course. I’ll give you practices to find your voice and power.

If you’re pregnant and you need support for your next birth or if you want to heal from the birth you had last time, reach out, message me and we can set up a time to talk. If you want to find out more you can go here www.birthyourtruth.com

Michelle Obama wants more people to vote, she wants change and so do I.

I want women to have great births.

And, I want to end birth trauma.