Your Voice

Having a voice can protect you from all kinds of really bad shit.

Did you know that having a voice now is one of the greatest tools for healing your birth experience?

Did you know that your voice is the number one most powerful way you can protect yourself and your baby from birth trauma?

Reclaiming your voice can completely change the trajectory of your life.

Have a voice.

I don’t mind if it’s quiet, loud or runs off your tongue like honey, just make it your your own voice.

Finding our voice can take patience and courage, and as women we need to know how to find our authentic voice.

Let me begin by explaining what I am not talking about here.

I am not talking about the voice of your head. I am not talking about the voice of what you’ve been told. I am not talking about the voice of your friends and community.

I am talking about the voice in your bones.

I am talking about the voice of your womb.

I am talking about the voice of your soul.

I am talking about the voice of your deep inner knowing.

I am talking about the voice between your soft inner thighs.

All these womanly body parts have a felt sense that cannot be denied. No more silence. Let the sound of your skin, bones, womb and yoni be heard. I truly believe that if women felt courageous to express the truth of their body (and not silence it) birth trauma would begin to stop across the world. Enough already.

You see, many girls have been taught to play sweetly and nicely, even when we are being harmed or threatened.

We have been taught to be compliant, nice, quiet and to ‘not make a fuss’ despite being coerced into being cut, pulled, prodded, and tied up to a monitor or worse still, an operating theatre bed.

This has to STOP.

We must stalk the predator within and without lest we become prey. We were not born to become prey. We must protect what we love.

When we are young we hear the voices of our parents, teachers, friends, relatives and churches day in and day out.

We take in and on, we digest many of these voices internally (even if we don’t agree with them) as if they were the absolute truth about life.

When we are very very young, i.e. pre-verbal we don’t question, we just absorb.

When we are infants, we are like chalk in a glass of ink.

We take it all in.

We take in ideas and random comments made by others as truth and make them mean something about us. As girls we have taken in births portrayed in television sitcoms and movies and on some level we may even unconsciously expect this kind of melodrama when we go to the hospital to have our own baby. You can clear all of this unknown material with some inner work.

Birth was not meant to be a crazy drama with you screaming in a white gown and your legs splayed open on a bed. FUCK NO!

Birth can be intense, primal, passionate, YES, but did you know that birth can also be even profoundly sexy, beautiful, wild and very very straight forward.

Take back your power.

Take back your body.

Have a voice now.

I have a Voice

In 2006 I was hired by a gorgeous young business woman to be her birth companion, her Doula.

The obstetrician that she had also hired, in one of her fifteen minute consults, looked me up and down and asked me if I was a midwife.

I wasn’t, I was a new doula at the time. In that moment I told him I was a doula, I felt a power shift but I didn’t realize what it meant until later.

During this woman’s birth I watched as she was beginning to prepare to push her first baby out. It was a straight forward normal birth.

I watched as the obstetrician took scissors from his side table and cut this woman’s yoni and pulled her baby out. The assistants he had held her legs apart. Later I was told these women were midwives. These midwives worked for a private hospital and seemed to be servants of the doctor. This was in stark contrast to what I knew midwifery to be from my own experience.

I was so shocked by what I saw I could not speak.

I am not saying all obstetric doctors are like this. Good doctors are out there, but this is not about them, this is about my initiation into the power dynamics of modern medical birth.

This is about my journey into power via loss of it.

Let’s be clear, obstetricians are surgeons, good for life and death situations, extremely well trained with scalpels and scissors.

Birth is intense, but most of the time it does not need any machines and rarely sharp instruments.

Birthing women do well with honesty, love, courage, protection, trust, safety, time, respect and understanding.

We women hold back our stories and our pain.

Many of us don’t want to frighten other pregnant women or our daughters. We think we should get on with it.

We hold back our stories because we feel they are in the past or because we feel we are so lucky to live in the western world with so much abundance, we are not starving and so we shouldn’t complain.

Yet the abundant western world we live in has also managed to nearly double the amount of women who died in childbirth in the USA and Canada between 1990 and 2013. (World Health Organisation, Trends in maternal mortality: 1990 to 2013)

Rising Maternal Mortality trend

The maternal mortality ratio increased by 136% in the USA from 1990-2013. Women who died in birth increased, yet the number of women who experienced psychological, emotional or physical trauma has never been recorded. It is hardly spoken about, until years later, perhaps when you might see a glowing pregnant woman, then it all comes flooding out. You suddenly feel you must tell her about your birth experience.

Pregnant women do not need to hear our horror stories.

So although there are wonderful benefits about living in modern times, we are still living in a world that often makes childbirth look like drive through.

Women can reclaim birth and stop this.

We can have a voice now.

It is essential women reclaim birth, and for this we are going to need to speak up. We are going to have to say “no thank you,” to many ideas and many offerings. We may even have to say “Stop!”

If you experienced a loss of power or voice in your birthing experience it is not too late to reclaim it now, in present time. Read what women are saying here.

We have a womb and our womb has a story. I want to hear your story, so your music can flow again.

If you know you are still suffering from an unexpected birth outcome, a miscarriage or an abortion. I am here for you. I have experienced these things myself.

If your petals feel crushed by birth it could be impacting your authentic voice, your contribution, your relationship, your business, your music, your creativity and your sexual flow.

As the wonderful Wayne Dyer said “I don’t want to die with my music still in me”. He certainly didn’t. He authored dozens of books and audios.

You can heal from your child’s birth, no matter how long ago it was. If you know it’s time you can book in here.